Unpaid Interns

Everyone I Know Is Dead
total player kill

Our brave band of interns continued deeper inland as they head towards the central plateau, for some unknown reason. During the two and a half day trek through the deep woods, the workload seemed to fall squarely on only four members of the party. The other members remained apathetic to the events befalling them.

Ziggy became attuned to his magical items, and pointed out a flaw in their designs…the DM will deal with that soon enough.

Silentread continued her angry arrow barrage at anything that appeared even remotely savage.

Phylo all but abandoned his use of Thunderwave, what with the other interns not even casting a single spell.

And Reth…well he just lights everything up with his smile…and chain of lightning.

Although only four members seemed to contribute at all to this adventure, they did dispatch with some ghostly ghouls (nice AI logon on the beach, boys), and more bone-nosed natives (Frank claps posthumously) , but found their match when they, against all better judgement, fought four very large ape-like creatures in a foul smelling, humanoid bone laden, cave.

No one remained standing as they were all bludgeoned into sweet, sweet comas…

To Waylan, Toothless, and Rosco
If you ever wake up from your respective comas…please cast at least one spell next time.
Sincerely,
Jim Joe

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He Owns The Tavern
and pees in his soup

After picking themselves off the ground, our intrepid heroes made their way to the tavern where they met their new best friend, Jim Joe. Jim Joe gave the interns so much information about everything, that it is hard to remember all of it. But he certainly told them to not go to isle 11 in the town’s library.

So they go to isle 11 and find the book of the living and the book of the dead and the book of the unliving and the book of the undead…it was a single very heavy book.

Toothless and Phylo arranged many books into a wonderful AI symbol, whilst Waylan found a historically inaccurate book about the Isle of Dread.

Using a boat patch from a wondrous robe, the party took to the river just as the moon was rising over Yeti Peak. Toothless took the precaution of having Al as a safety net as they plummeted over the falls…except they did not, because a black hole opened up and took them on a journey to a far away place out of time and space where the fabled Isle of Dread arose from the churning waters and Toothless yelled for Al’s assistance…to no avail.

Finding some old notes in an old bottle, the interns quickly forgot about steering their boat, so Jim Joe did it for them, taking them into a group of large spiders that were quickly dispatched by Silentread…wait, she was restrained for most of the battle…wow she has talent.

Afterwards they made land fall, again, and went to sleep, except for Phylo and Silentread who stood watch. Phylo summoned a Dryad and Silentread rolled some death saves. Then Reth woke up and gibbed 1/2 of the attacking natives and Rosco revived Silentread.

Ziggy was unnaturally silent during this whole time…strange.

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Understanding the VPC and RoR
george lucas would be mad

The next day the group received a basket of fruit and an apology note from Jim Darkmagic assuring them the miscreant would be dealt with. In addition, they were given use of a GOLD level (or lower) vehicle to be acquired from the Vehicle Procurement Center (VPC).

On the way to the VPC, four thieves attempted to kill themselves by throwing themselves hard against the ground…several times…oh wait…I mean they got the shit kicked out of them because apparently EVERYONE in this damn party has THUNDERWAVE.

When they arrived at the VPC they met VeeCThreeOh and Hartoo who helped them get situated in the VPC and find Calhicky, the VP Specialist. The gang did a great deal of haggling and ended up getting the highest level of insurance, three healing/ale bots, and the communications package for the price of the communications package…wow, very good. Its those types of Charisma scores that…what? They distracted Calhicky and stole that shit?!?! Ah, ok, I see how this is going to go…is anyone in this party Lawful Good?!?! The Cleric is? Great, he should have something to say about…huh? He was sleeping the whole time? Damn.

Anyhow, they made their way to the Aluminum Falcon where they met Al Yuminium (an aluminum dragon) that would be their dirigible balloon that takes them on their adventure. The gang likes all the features spelled out in the User’s Guide (don’t look at all that scribbling on the back…it was all done one night whilst playing Minecraft with some other Dungeon Masters…I am pretty certain it in NO WAY relates to anything you will be doing in this adventure)

No one died on the way to High Falls (damnit), and they arrived to find High Falls abandoned. Parking on the roof of the City Hall, they took one BeerBot with them as they began their uninformed stomping about town.

In the city hall, they discovered the plan for the city’s inhabitants to go down the falls….don’t delay.

In the Temple of Bahamut, they met an old man who was clearly NOT BAHAMUT…even tho he had 7 white birds flying around him and said shit like “stupid mortals”…oh wait, Ziggy identified the building as “The Temple of Tiamat”…I totally forgot about that.

After an unbelievably kiss-ass gesture to the old man, Ziggy and the other fools, i mean unpaid interns, made their way to The Magic Emporium. A wonderous building filled with all manner of magics, it truly is the pride of High Falls. You know, other than the river and the falls themselves, The Magic Emporium is a major tourist attraction, generating an enormous amount of money for the city and the people of High Falls….man they love that place.

They love it so much, that they performed some magic to protect it whilst they were away, knowing that three Animated Armors, five Flying Swords, and a Rug of Smothering were more than enough to discourage even the boldest thieves from ransacking their most beloved building.

The Unpaid Interns blew it up.

You heard right, they beat the crap out of the inside of the place, and then…Phylo…blew…it…up.

The resulting explosion killed Toothless for like the 20th time that day, and sent their trusty beerbot into low-Faerun orbit…

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The Story So Far
AI Unpaid Interns Unite

Drawn in by the fancy rap and promise of adventure, fame, fortune, and sex, our brave unpaid interns found themselves at the Acquisitions Inc UID (unpaid intern dorm). There they received a parchment letting them know they were chosen for an adventure. They discovered a magical message on the paper when it was held by Silentread…and invitation to have a sexy sexy party with none other than Jim Darkmagic.
Silentread, being the pissed off ranger she is, decided to go visit JD and give him a piece of her mind (if not a swift kick in the ass as well), but they were met by two large guards who wanted to keep the peace. Quickly charmed by the group, they left to investigate “sounds” whilst Waylan took their place guarding JDs love suite.
The rest of the group went into the bacon-smelling hallway only to find it trapped against males. They overcame that problem and Silentread kicked the dick of the door.
Inside they found not Jim Darkmagic, but some imposter trying to sully JD’s good name or at least cash in on it. The gang quickly took care of him, found some nice things under the bed, and left for the night.

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